An old expression my mom used to use. She's from Trinidad and they have the wittiest phrases. She kind of annoyed me tonight. I was a bit depressed and upset about a bunch of things. I'm stressed, and smoking more, and I got hit on by a fairly attractive gothic gay girl last night who insisted I was gay and was quite agressive. "No one is f***ing with you tonight." she said as she approached me from behind in the seat I was sitting in last night at the gay club trying to ignore her. She wrapped her arms around me, gave me a smooch and walked away before my slowly responsive drunk ass could protest. It was flattering if not awkward, but if I were gay she'd kind of scare me.
Kyle admitted he loved me but couldn't be with me cuz he was gay. "I don't know what I'd do without you in my life. You're seriously the most awesome person ever and I think about you, like all the time. If I were gay I'd totally go out with you."
"Well, thank you. I'm not sure how to take that."
He hugged me. Twice his head landed on my boob.
"Your head is on my boob."
"It's ok. I'm gay."
".........ok if you say so."
I had had about 2 very strong cranvodkas that night. We all got pretty much plastered.
An hour later me, him, L.Ziggy and Mylez hit the dance floor gyrating each other in a drunken mad frenzy.
So the events of Thursday night were needless to say interesting and I got hit on by my first lesbian. I felt it was worth blogging.
Now on to the subject of this title. Obviously, my bi-polar mind had quite a bit to think about and adjust to along with a lingering hangover. The first call I got this morning my mother and I got into another argument which I no longer remember specifically what about (they occur so frequently they become a blur) but ultimately I ended up having to go get her bank card and drive it down to a restaurant where she was having a luncheon with potential clients. Grumbling the whole way to myself in the car, I got there and she decided she wanted to talk over some sushi.
Damn her and her knowledge of my weaknesses. She discussed getting me a life insurance plan and how she met clients my age who had 1 at 21 and had thousands of tax-free dollars to spend and take out a loan on. I gawked.
"I could do it for you. But you need to quit smoking for at least 2 years or the premium would be high."
Ah, the catch.
"It shows up in your urine for up to two years. If you smoked pot it wouldn't be considered a fatal factor." she continued.
I raised my eyebrows. Where was she going? That I should replace my cancer agent with another type of drug?
"But I believe that pot burns brain cells. Still if you were back on your anti-depressants like Wellbutrin because they find that people who take those meds tend not to smoke."
Dramatic pause.
"I don't like the meds," I said, "I don't like the way they make me feel. He tried 3 different types at 3 different levels each. Even with Wellbutrin the side-effects weren't as severe but I felt like crying at times for no reason at all. I don't want to be on them anymore."
"But you said they were working before. They were helping you with school."
"And they were but after awhile I just felt over-emotional about everything for no reason. "
We went into a discussion about the gum and patch, I argued it didn't work. She stated my friends smoke and do I think I can quit cold turkey, I admitted they did and I could quit but part of me doesn't want to so I don't set my mind to it and continue to do it. She assimilated it with her dieting experience and wanting to work out, blah blah blah. Then she gave me that cocked-head-to-the-side-worried look I hate where she purses her mouth into a half smile with worry and pity in her eyes.
I hate that look.
Much drama ensued throughout the day.
Finally, she came back talking about how she wanted to quit her job. I kind of ignored her. Only because my mother NEVER talks about quitting anything. Her perseverance is amazing. I browsed the net and tried to start a convo about Sandra Bullock's 45 yr old stalker trying to run Jesses James over with her car. She seemed annoyed. I was annoyed. So I went out and drank till I was just sober enough to drive home. I started crying on my way back. Not really sure why at first but then I realized how serious this could be. I came back home and told her we needed to talk.
"I've never heard you ever say 'quit' so I guess at first I was ignoring it." I said, "But you are the most intelligent person I know. Whenever I come to you about things I've learned you'll give me the whole history. At first, I find it rather upsetting cuz I find this great piece of knowledge and you don't seem impressed." I half joked.
"I'm not the smartest person. You're just saying that because you're young." she said.
"But it is true. I know you don't believe me. Anyone can ask you any question about anything and you'll know so much. I always think if I have at least 1/3 of your knowledge I'd be so well off. But to see you this way, a very intelligent woman who graduated from Boston University. No stable parent in your life that ever showed you encouragement or approval. You just went out and did it. And you succeeded."
"Well I'm not going to let one person affect how I do in life." she replied.
"Yeah but if that person is a parent, I mean like your mom, it's got to affect you. I mean, you alway try to encourage me. Even when I talk about Japan or whatever the case may be you still encourage me to do and try things. It's because of you I try so hard to do well in school at all. If you were to just quit over one bad day, I feel like then the world wouldn't give me much of a chance. You really inspire me to get out there and try. I have never seen you want to quit anything when it got hard. Even when you worked with The Children's Home (a place where kids are put in as wards of the state, kind of a juvenille delinquent place) when those kids threatened violence and cursed at you and tried to abuse you every way possible, you hung in there. You ministered to them, you helped them, you made an impact. And all these people that contributed time and money into you because they believed you could do this job, mom. It's all about perception. You know that."
We talked a little more about stuff. She seemed to feel a bit better and I relieved. We joked about a few things then went to bed.
My mother is an amazing woman. Even though we have our differences I made it a point to tell her that even though I don't always take her advice I do listen and think about it.
I think we'll both be all right.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
What now?
While I miss the true art of photography I'm afraid it's something my eyes can only envy and my hand cannot duplicate. That said my digital camera sucks. So I'm getting a new one.
Yesterday, I was in the car talking to myself (as I always do) smoking a cig and mimicking the djs of the radio stations. They're over-enthusiastic gabber and quick 1 hit punch lines allowed me to come up with a new term.
"The 5 minute sexy"
I don't know how I came upon it really. I was blabbing on about how I did my hair in five minutes before leaving for work then I said "You know, so I'm feelin' 5 minute sexy right now!" I said it so that my voice kinda squealed on the "sexy" part and it made it kinda cool cuz I had also just woken up not that long ago before heading out so my voice was raspy. It was a revolutionary moment for me. An Epiphany. I decided I want to do radio. But I still love writing and want to stay in journalism. Maybe a double major? I don't know. My blog here just made me lose 10 IQ points...I apologize to those who got brainaches just now. I admit I am truly insane. Small things excite me and I am amused all too easily. Like the time me and my friend Laura had a fascination with burning a pile of dry grass at the park across the street with lighters and rubbing the soot in between our fingers.
You're probably not feeling sexy right now let alone 5 minute sexy. I guess you had to be there.
Another loss of IQ points is me discovering you can't add "friends" on blogger. Hey, it's fine with me. I write for me anyway. No one ever comments on what I say here or anywhere really. Myspace kids are obsessed with adding friends and changing layouts. Xanga seems an empty shell....either that or if you're on the homepage writing about vtech you're getting bombarded by ridiculous commentators who you wish would leave you alone and make your xanga an empty shell. I'd rather the former, too.
My friend Missy came back from Okinawa last weekend. Shockingly having lived there a year she didn't even know basic Japanese greetings or experienced the refreshing taste of sushi. This disappointed me. I guess military bases down there are in their own bubble. Her hubby should be coming up in a few months, too. Poor Missy has had some hella SEVERE morning sickness. She's been hospitalized before for it and right now is throwing up a lot. The baby is screaming all the time. Missy can't breast feed it some days because she's too weak so they're trying to give her a break by giving the baby formula in a bottle. Baby Abby isn't too down with that. Luckily for me I sleep like a rock anyway.
I'm running uber late in paying Kaif for this laptop....money he's using to go to see another one of his boytoys in Maryland but hey as long as I'm paying him whatever billing guy comes to get the money at that point is his business to handle.
I get a $200 bonus check today so I'm buying a new digital camera since mine seems to have washed away, parts scattered in the 7 seas of the storage bin after the move. It's a shame. I had an incredibly crisp picture of my side profile in my camera that I can't even use because I don't have the usb cable or the software. My camera hardly takes crisp pictures. More like soggy rice crispy pictures where everything droops and blurs. I really like those Sony Cybershots...they're refreshingly clear. I think I'm going to get one of those.
I'm going to a gay club again tonight with my friends Kyle, Myles, and Lizzy. Don't sound like your usual suspects of alcoholic club-goers but boy do you not know the LMK trio. I'm not gay but I go because Kyle gets so trashed he begins to buy me drinks and speak slurred jibberish that I think is cute and funny even though he'll tell the same story 15 min later, not remember, and when I gently remind him he just told me said story, he laughs in shock and says "Really? I don't even remember telling you that!" Then he'll buy me a drink or won't want his anymore (cuz he'll be too plastered) and I get free alcohol for the most part. The cycle will continue through the night. Speaking of gay, I guess I better get a move on before Kaif yells at me and misses getting his bus ticket.
Yesterday, I was in the car talking to myself (as I always do) smoking a cig and mimicking the djs of the radio stations. They're over-enthusiastic gabber and quick 1 hit punch lines allowed me to come up with a new term.
"The 5 minute sexy"
I don't know how I came upon it really. I was blabbing on about how I did my hair in five minutes before leaving for work then I said "You know, so I'm feelin' 5 minute sexy right now!" I said it so that my voice kinda squealed on the "sexy" part and it made it kinda cool cuz I had also just woken up not that long ago before heading out so my voice was raspy. It was a revolutionary moment for me. An Epiphany. I decided I want to do radio. But I still love writing and want to stay in journalism. Maybe a double major? I don't know. My blog here just made me lose 10 IQ points...I apologize to those who got brainaches just now. I admit I am truly insane. Small things excite me and I am amused all too easily. Like the time me and my friend Laura had a fascination with burning a pile of dry grass at the park across the street with lighters and rubbing the soot in between our fingers.
You're probably not feeling sexy right now let alone 5 minute sexy. I guess you had to be there.
Another loss of IQ points is me discovering you can't add "friends" on blogger. Hey, it's fine with me. I write for me anyway. No one ever comments on what I say here or anywhere really. Myspace kids are obsessed with adding friends and changing layouts. Xanga seems an empty shell....either that or if you're on the homepage writing about vtech you're getting bombarded by ridiculous commentators who you wish would leave you alone and make your xanga an empty shell. I'd rather the former, too.
My friend Missy came back from Okinawa last weekend. Shockingly having lived there a year she didn't even know basic Japanese greetings or experienced the refreshing taste of sushi. This disappointed me. I guess military bases down there are in their own bubble. Her hubby should be coming up in a few months, too. Poor Missy has had some hella SEVERE morning sickness. She's been hospitalized before for it and right now is throwing up a lot. The baby is screaming all the time. Missy can't breast feed it some days because she's too weak so they're trying to give her a break by giving the baby formula in a bottle. Baby Abby isn't too down with that. Luckily for me I sleep like a rock anyway.
I'm running uber late in paying Kaif for this laptop....money he's using to go to see another one of his boytoys in Maryland but hey as long as I'm paying him whatever billing guy comes to get the money at that point is his business to handle.
I get a $200 bonus check today so I'm buying a new digital camera since mine seems to have washed away, parts scattered in the 7 seas of the storage bin after the move. It's a shame. I had an incredibly crisp picture of my side profile in my camera that I can't even use because I don't have the usb cable or the software. My camera hardly takes crisp pictures. More like soggy rice crispy pictures where everything droops and blurs. I really like those Sony Cybershots...they're refreshingly clear. I think I'm going to get one of those.
I'm going to a gay club again tonight with my friends Kyle, Myles, and Lizzy. Don't sound like your usual suspects of alcoholic club-goers but boy do you not know the LMK trio. I'm not gay but I go because Kyle gets so trashed he begins to buy me drinks and speak slurred jibberish that I think is cute and funny even though he'll tell the same story 15 min later, not remember, and when I gently remind him he just told me said story, he laughs in shock and says "Really? I don't even remember telling you that!" Then he'll buy me a drink or won't want his anymore (cuz he'll be too plastered) and I get free alcohol for the most part. The cycle will continue through the night. Speaking of gay, I guess I better get a move on before Kaif yells at me and misses getting his bus ticket.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Severity of Ignorance: The True Tragedy of V-Tech
I love blogging and I love debating. All of you should know I post more serious blogs on other websites. Some are personal, others political, some a mixture of both. I do not advertise them often. Here I like to sit back and talk to friends. But now is not a time for silence.
It seems I angered or aroused a few curious heads on another blog of mine about the Vtech incident. I have remained mostly quiet about the situation until I saw the discriminatory acts and comments on asians posting their concern about the incident on their blogs. In light of recent events and seeing as these are the type of issues I want to address in my writing career I realize I cannot stay quiet any longer on this situation.
This will not be a nice blog.
Some of what I might say may be seen as racist. These are simply facts that someone who has not gone through as nearly as much of a tortured history cannot understand. White people do NOT understand racism the way they think they do. They will never experience it on a level that other races have.
To all my friends, you know I am not racist but some of what I have lived through, what my family has lived through, what my ancestors have lived through will not appeal to you because it is something you absolutely cannot understand and will have no way of ever doing so. This is not a generalization of all whites, but most and even the most unassuming ones harbor the most bizarre racist beliefs as I have come to find out seeing no harm but surprisingly even truths in the ignorant statements.
If you feel you need to address me in anyway I only ask so that you do so diplomatically and argue your point justly so. I may not agree, but I will listen. And if you take offense then perhaps it is the uncomfortability of the perceived truth you fear. You may need to examine your own heart and mind. It will not be an easy task.
Now with that said....allow me to begin to address the moral concerns of America, its hypocracy, and its evil wrapped gently underneath its shallow beauty.
It began with me expressing my sympathetic point of view and relaying a story of the experience of a certain Asian friend who we'll call 'Joe'.
Joe works at a restaurant as a waiter and told me that 2 old people of Caucasian descent requested to speak to his manager and asked that he not "serve them" because "his people are murderers." For one my friend is not South Korean or anywhere near the country. He is a Pacific Islander from the Philipinnes. He is a young Filipino man. He had no idea what was going on. This shocked me. I hadn't even thought this racism occured. It didn't hit me even once that even ignorant people would make this generalization.
2 nights ago when logging into one of my blogs on the main page were featured bloggers. Most of them were Asians expressing their concerns and frustration over the V-tech tragedy, their shame and disgust, and the unfair treatment they were receiving from whites. Many empathized. Some made excuses "he broke up with his girlfriend", "asian families put more academic pressure on their kids than other families so he cracked", etc.
One particular blog was stating the previous fact and that he hoped that people would not discriminate and that the shooter would not be a Vietnamese man (I'm assuming he was a such decent). I warned him, "Dude is from South Korea I heard. so not a viet. still sucks though. you know americans will discriminate on all asians. its already starting...."
He replied that he believed they were isolated incidents that would have no real devastating impact. I replied "They may be isolated but the damage has made its declaration. Ignorance will persist no matter how much change occurs to blur the lines of race over the years. Blacks, Muslims in 9-11, now Asians in the VT massacre. Every time it's a minority. The media does not portray this as a single issue. It becomes a "Them vs. Us" issue and "Us" being whites. People feed into this frenzy. Not everyone but most. I know people are saying all races have racist people but the levels of psychological, emotional, and physical damage are no where near as significant against minorities when the vicitims are caucasians. In general, it's wrong but one crazy person when a minority will easily be labeled the mentality of that whole race. It is something to always be aware of. Whether people choose to open their eyes to these facts is their choice and I admit its a hard pill to swallow. But what else is to be done if we all choose to be so close-minded?"
When whites are the victims and the cause of the crisis it is a tragedy.
When a minority causes whites to become the victim, it is a nightmare, a monstrosity, a disgrace to the whole race. It comes so easily, it's scary.<>
On another post another Asian girl had posted her disappointment in the media, racism between Asians and other Asians, and also responses of outrage towards the Asian American Journalist Association or the AJAA.
Koreans are apparently labeled the "Niggers of Asia" and are looked down upon by even other Asian cultures. A mentality even believed to be followed by the AJAA itself (also see link above). Below were comments posted. One in particular caused my anger to reach the brink of its tolerance.
"You are ALL being ignorant.and SELFISH.It's about the Victims of the tragedyNOT YOU.Quit saying how hurt you are.and how wrong our media isif it's so WRONG and RACIST then fucking leave."
This was not the only comment like this however it was the straw that broke my camel's back. I snapped, really in response to the comment above:
"i love asians and everything asian. it is a tragedy that this racism is going on. being black it is no different. i thought the same thing about columbine. no one went around asking caucasians if they were going to murder them. of course the same thing happened with Arabs and 9-11. every time there's a tragedy and a minority behind it americans or should i say white americans get stupid. this isn't to say all of them but it seems a majority of them do. my friend who is Filipino was waiting on 2 people at his job and they spoke to his manager and said they didn't want him serving them because "those people are crazy. they're murderers." it's outrageous. no racial group of any kind should go through this. blacks, arabs, and now asians. pretty soon every minority will be out to get the 'white race'. it's sad...." This might have seemed offensive but the violence and hate that has burgeoned in such tragedies are the ugly truth. And the media plays its hand viciously, manipulating the majority swaying them into a glass bowl of ignorance in which everything seems clear and open until one of the few realizes their freedom has been breached by thorough brain-washing. Someone addressed this in another blog and asked why whites were not singled out in such a case. "Because then the media would be isolating themselves, its own kind, if it were to portray whites in a bad light. They would lose ratings. It would effect them tremendously." Having thought about it I realized it was true. Imagine a white reporter spewing hatred for himself and his own race. It would be uncanny, strange, and controversial.
A young blonde girl posted in response to my angry comment:
"I was on that page featured by ***** and you said someone told your Philipino friend's manager they didn't want him to wait on them. I worked at a restaurant for 2 years and if anyone says that the manager is supposed to ask them to leave. When I worked at a restaurant my manager said that if anyone said anything racist to us he would ask them to leave becuase, not only is that company policy but if someone is going to behave like that he doesn't want their business. Racism of any kind is ignorant. I'm a white, blonde girl and when you said white people get ignorant when tragedies like this happen at the hand of a non-caucasian I was slightly offended. It's not that white people get ignorant it's that ignorant racist people choose to show their ignorance. There are racist people of all races. I'm not mad or anything I just think you kind of contradicted yourself."
This seems to be the defense of Caucasians. "Racism happens in all races." There are different types of racism. Some are more damaging than others. My reply to her as well pretty much sums it up from here in terms of my views and my final stand:
"You're right. I shouldn't have made that generalization. Generalizing all whites as racist was not my intention, however, it is the general mentality unfortunately and the media stands behind the majority feeding them subliminal ignorant messages and singling out race when these things are caused by minorities. When the Columbine shootings happened whites were not ridiculed, they were not singled out, their property was not vandalized, and they were not insulted because they are the majority here; on the other hand, there are people like yourself who are very committed to the cause and are open-minded and kind. Unfortunately, your kind is not a majority either much in conjuction with the abolitionists of the early 1900's around the times of slavery. First 9-11 and now this. I guess I was just mad because the asians posting their outrage were being ridiculed like "If you can't handle it leave." and being called "racists" themselves. I was really posting for these people and for encouragement to the asians to vent their concerns. These ignorant comments were left by whites and I wanted them to know that their ignorance was unjustified and ridiculous. Again thanks for your comment and I'm sorry if I offended you. I'll be praying for the victims as well."
Finally, something I viewed from another site, although the speaker turned out to be false (though it would have been interesting if it had been the assumed speaker) the statistics are pretty much true:
President Bush, during a recent speech to a predominantly white audience, voiced his concerns about the state of affairs in American white communities. "The epidemic of whites involved in drunk-driving fatality accidents is deplorable," President Bush said. He cited the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's 2000 statistics that showed that white male drivers between the ages of 21-34 constituted the largest percentage of drunk (or impaired) drivers in fatal crashes and the Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation, Prevention Research Center's 1999 findings that of the 91,248 alcohol-related driving fatalities, 65,309 were committed by whites.
President Bush also took aim at the violence perpetrated by whites in school: "White school children killing other school children must stop. The senseless and barbaric school shootings in Pearl, Miss.; Paducah, Ky.; Jonesboro, Ark.; Edinboro, Pa.; Springfield, Ore.; and Littleton, Colo.; serve as chilling reminders of what happens when there is a failure of leadership in the white family." The president referred to his speech as a wake-up call: "We can't hide behind the stereotypical image of the Black and Hispanic violent criminal anymore. Before there was 'gangsta' rap you had Martin Scorsese, Brian DePalma and Francis Ford Coppola winning award after award and Oscar after Oscar for their films filled with whites committing brutal acts of violence. What type of message does that send if we reward movies that depict such brutality? The Godfather, Casino, Goodfellas, Scarface, Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction. These movies have all contributed to a culture of white violence."
"White politicians don't want to discuss these issues, but somebody has to speak up," President Bush said, as he continued his assault on what he called the "white crime epidemic."
"The average serial killer is usually male, between the ages of 25-35, and he is usually white. The majority of the time, he will kill victims of his own race. The ages of his victims will vary greatly, depending on his particular 'interests.' His intellect ranges from below average to above average. He doesn't usually know his victims or have any particular hatred for them personally (though they might be symbolic to him in some way) most of the time... His victims never did anything to hurt him in any way...they are normally strangers to him. He doesn't come from one social class or another; he can come from skid row or Park Avenue. The typical child abductor-murderer is, likewise, usually a white male. They are single and about 27 years old. They are either unemployed or work in unskilled jobs, live alone or with parents; while their victims are typically 11-year-old white females from middle class neighborhoods [Bush was quoting from the Justice Department's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention report from 1997]."
Bush continued his attack on those he referred to as "social and moral vampires." "Child pornography or kiddie porn is a crime whose perpetrators are overwhelmingly white and whose victims are disproportionately white. This too must stop. Even in our sacred institutions such as our churches, specifically in far too many Roman Catholic churches, our innocent white children are being preyed upon."
"Do you realize that nearly 70 percent of those serving time for violent crimes against children are white," Bush said as he cited the U.S. Department of Justice's 1996 report, What are we doing to ourselves? "Susan Smith, Andrea Yates and Deanna Laney represent a frightening pattern of murder and neglect of white children by white mothers…. And do they take responsibility? No. They either blame it on some phantom black man or say God made them do it."
The president later turned his focus on white youth and drugs, "It's the same story for young adults. Whites are 66 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds and 70 percent of drug users that age. Blacks are 13.5 percent of persons in that age group and only 13 percent of young adult users, while Hispanics are nearly 15 percent of that age group, but yet comprise only 12 percent of drug users 18-25. According to the Justice Department, drug users tend to buy from same-race dealers. So the nearly three-quarters of users who are white, mainly rely on white drug dealers, not the Blacks or Hispanics of accepted imagery. When it comes to drugs like Ecstasy - a hot product in suburban America - the dealers and users have long been known to be mostly white, middle-class males between 14 and 32. American society doesn't want to face the fact that white kids deal and use drugs. They simply can't look in their faces and see that a nice-looking white kid is selling drugs to their kids, because that would mean that their kids could do this too.
"When will it end?" lamented the president
Author's confession:
Dear reader, this article is only an invention. President Bush never delivered a speech such as this. However, the statistics stated in the article are very real and very true.
No leading white politician or religious leader has ever, to my knowledge, come close to expressing the thoughts and views outlined in this composition. If they did, what do you think the response would be? If you don't have an answer it's OK. I realize that it is difficult to come up with an answer to a question that has rarely or never been asked. However, other groups (especially Blacks) have had to deal with similar rhetoric for centuries right here in America and have had to answer the question I just posed to you, time and time again.
Let's think about it, when the tragedy at Columbine occurred there were literally hundreds of news stories asking the question: "Why are our kids becoming so violent." Not why are white kids becoming so violent, but "our" kids. Now let's contrast that with what happens when a black child is killed in a predominantly black community. The headline more often than not has read something like this: "The problem of black-on-black crime" or "Violence amongst black youth." There are two scenarios taking place here: 1. De-emphasizing or minimizing ethnicity. When the crime is perpetrated by white youths color is not the issue; the issue is "our" children and violence. 2. Emphatic emphasizing and alienation when black youth are deemed the culprits. It is no longer "our" kids; it is "black" kids or youth. Can you, will you, see the difference? Our need to examine these inequities is exacerbated by CNN's announcement that they are adding Bill Bennett to their on-air roster. This prolific slap in the face cannot be appeased by Bennett's continued pronouncement, that his words were taken out of context and that he preceded his ominous statement about the abortion of Black babies to lower the crime rate with: "it would be reprehensible." The fact that he went straight for the Black population speaks volumes of his deep-seated prejudices. Why mention Black babies at all? In light of all the statistical evidence presented here, Mr. Bennett's assertion about aborting "every Black baby" would not make a dent in certain crimes. It certainly would not make much of a difference in corporate or white-collar crime, which is still very much white-male dominated and rarely discussed in the on-going dialogue on "crime." Wouldn't the drop in crime be significant if we aborted "white male babies" (if we were to stay with Bill Bennett's rationale for his hypothesis)?
Furthermore, a distinction has to be made between criminal activities and those convicted of a crimes - not everyone who commits a crime is convicted.
I know there are some who may be offended by the assertions that I have made in this piece; this is regrettable and yet I understand. But before you give full sway to your feelings of anger and disgust, answer this: were you this offended when Blacks or Latinos (and other ethnic groups) were being characterized in the same way? Did you challenge the people who made (and those who published) derogatory and inaccurate remarks about other ethnic groups, to tell the whole truth?
It's not easy being made to look like deviants, criminals or malcontents, is it? It is frustrating and dehumanizing when the few are made to represent the many. When the face of evil and all that is thought to be wrong with society bears a resemblance, in ethnicity, to you. This, I understand all too well. If that is how you feel, please remember it; meditate on it. For it is the same feeling that many of your fellow citizens have had to live with on daily basis. In conclusion, let us ponder this: A fictitious speech had to be written to talk about the crimes and indiscretions of white folk; the words and speeches that are used to degrade and debase Black folk is all too real.
Dr. Edward Rhymes is the Director of Race Relations & Advocacy for the YWCA of Greater Pittsburgh. Dr. Rhymes can be reached at erhymes@ywcapgh.org.
Fear breeds ignorance.
It seems I angered or aroused a few curious heads on another blog of mine about the Vtech incident. I have remained mostly quiet about the situation until I saw the discriminatory acts and comments on asians posting their concern about the incident on their blogs. In light of recent events and seeing as these are the type of issues I want to address in my writing career I realize I cannot stay quiet any longer on this situation.
This will not be a nice blog.
Some of what I might say may be seen as racist. These are simply facts that someone who has not gone through as nearly as much of a tortured history cannot understand. White people do NOT understand racism the way they think they do. They will never experience it on a level that other races have.
To all my friends, you know I am not racist but some of what I have lived through, what my family has lived through, what my ancestors have lived through will not appeal to you because it is something you absolutely cannot understand and will have no way of ever doing so. This is not a generalization of all whites, but most and even the most unassuming ones harbor the most bizarre racist beliefs as I have come to find out seeing no harm but surprisingly even truths in the ignorant statements.
If you feel you need to address me in anyway I only ask so that you do so diplomatically and argue your point justly so. I may not agree, but I will listen. And if you take offense then perhaps it is the uncomfortability of the perceived truth you fear. You may need to examine your own heart and mind. It will not be an easy task.
Now with that said....allow me to begin to address the moral concerns of America, its hypocracy, and its evil wrapped gently underneath its shallow beauty.
It began with me expressing my sympathetic point of view and relaying a story of the experience of a certain Asian friend who we'll call 'Joe'.
Joe works at a restaurant as a waiter and told me that 2 old people of Caucasian descent requested to speak to his manager and asked that he not "serve them" because "his people are murderers." For one my friend is not South Korean or anywhere near the country. He is a Pacific Islander from the Philipinnes. He is a young Filipino man. He had no idea what was going on. This shocked me. I hadn't even thought this racism occured. It didn't hit me even once that even ignorant people would make this generalization.
2 nights ago when logging into one of my blogs on the main page were featured bloggers. Most of them were Asians expressing their concerns and frustration over the V-tech tragedy, their shame and disgust, and the unfair treatment they were receiving from whites. Many empathized. Some made excuses "he broke up with his girlfriend", "asian families put more academic pressure on their kids than other families so he cracked", etc.
One particular blog was stating the previous fact and that he hoped that people would not discriminate and that the shooter would not be a Vietnamese man (I'm assuming he was a such decent). I warned him, "Dude is from South Korea I heard. so not a viet. still sucks though. you know americans will discriminate on all asians. its already starting...."
He replied that he believed they were isolated incidents that would have no real devastating impact. I replied "They may be isolated but the damage has made its declaration. Ignorance will persist no matter how much change occurs to blur the lines of race over the years. Blacks, Muslims in 9-11, now Asians in the VT massacre. Every time it's a minority. The media does not portray this as a single issue. It becomes a "Them vs. Us" issue and "Us" being whites. People feed into this frenzy. Not everyone but most. I know people are saying all races have racist people but the levels of psychological, emotional, and physical damage are no where near as significant against minorities when the vicitims are caucasians. In general, it's wrong but one crazy person when a minority will easily be labeled the mentality of that whole race. It is something to always be aware of. Whether people choose to open their eyes to these facts is their choice and I admit its a hard pill to swallow. But what else is to be done if we all choose to be so close-minded?"
When whites are the victims and the cause of the crisis it is a tragedy.
When a minority causes whites to become the victim, it is a nightmare, a monstrosity, a disgrace to the whole race. It comes so easily, it's scary.<>
On another post another Asian girl had posted her disappointment in the media, racism between Asians and other Asians, and also responses of outrage towards the Asian American Journalist Association or the AJAA.
Koreans are apparently labeled the "Niggers of Asia" and are looked down upon by even other Asian cultures. A mentality even believed to be followed by the AJAA itself (also see link above). Below were comments posted. One in particular caused my anger to reach the brink of its tolerance.
"You are ALL being ignorant.and SELFISH.It's about the Victims of the tragedyNOT YOU.Quit saying how hurt you are.and how wrong our media isif it's so WRONG and RACIST then fucking leave."
This was not the only comment like this however it was the straw that broke my camel's back. I snapped, really in response to the comment above:
"i love asians and everything asian. it is a tragedy that this racism is going on. being black it is no different. i thought the same thing about columbine. no one went around asking caucasians if they were going to murder them. of course the same thing happened with Arabs and 9-11. every time there's a tragedy and a minority behind it americans or should i say white americans get stupid. this isn't to say all of them but it seems a majority of them do. my friend who is Filipino was waiting on 2 people at his job and they spoke to his manager and said they didn't want him serving them because "those people are crazy. they're murderers." it's outrageous. no racial group of any kind should go through this. blacks, arabs, and now asians. pretty soon every minority will be out to get the 'white race'. it's sad...." This might have seemed offensive but the violence and hate that has burgeoned in such tragedies are the ugly truth. And the media plays its hand viciously, manipulating the majority swaying them into a glass bowl of ignorance in which everything seems clear and open until one of the few realizes their freedom has been breached by thorough brain-washing. Someone addressed this in another blog and asked why whites were not singled out in such a case. "Because then the media would be isolating themselves, its own kind, if it were to portray whites in a bad light. They would lose ratings. It would effect them tremendously." Having thought about it I realized it was true. Imagine a white reporter spewing hatred for himself and his own race. It would be uncanny, strange, and controversial.
A young blonde girl posted in response to my angry comment:
"I was on that page featured by ***** and you said someone told your Philipino friend's manager they didn't want him to wait on them. I worked at a restaurant for 2 years and if anyone says that the manager is supposed to ask them to leave. When I worked at a restaurant my manager said that if anyone said anything racist to us he would ask them to leave becuase, not only is that company policy but if someone is going to behave like that he doesn't want their business. Racism of any kind is ignorant. I'm a white, blonde girl and when you said white people get ignorant when tragedies like this happen at the hand of a non-caucasian I was slightly offended. It's not that white people get ignorant it's that ignorant racist people choose to show their ignorance. There are racist people of all races. I'm not mad or anything I just think you kind of contradicted yourself."
This seems to be the defense of Caucasians. "Racism happens in all races." There are different types of racism. Some are more damaging than others. My reply to her as well pretty much sums it up from here in terms of my views and my final stand:
"You're right. I shouldn't have made that generalization. Generalizing all whites as racist was not my intention, however, it is the general mentality unfortunately and the media stands behind the majority feeding them subliminal ignorant messages and singling out race when these things are caused by minorities. When the Columbine shootings happened whites were not ridiculed, they were not singled out, their property was not vandalized, and they were not insulted because they are the majority here; on the other hand, there are people like yourself who are very committed to the cause and are open-minded and kind. Unfortunately, your kind is not a majority either much in conjuction with the abolitionists of the early 1900's around the times of slavery. First 9-11 and now this. I guess I was just mad because the asians posting their outrage were being ridiculed like "If you can't handle it leave." and being called "racists" themselves. I was really posting for these people and for encouragement to the asians to vent their concerns. These ignorant comments were left by whites and I wanted them to know that their ignorance was unjustified and ridiculous. Again thanks for your comment and I'm sorry if I offended you. I'll be praying for the victims as well."
Finally, something I viewed from another site, although the speaker turned out to be false (though it would have been interesting if it had been the assumed speaker) the statistics are pretty much true:
President Bush, during a recent speech to a predominantly white audience, voiced his concerns about the state of affairs in American white communities. "The epidemic of whites involved in drunk-driving fatality accidents is deplorable," President Bush said. He cited the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's 2000 statistics that showed that white male drivers between the ages of 21-34 constituted the largest percentage of drunk (or impaired) drivers in fatal crashes and the Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation, Prevention Research Center's 1999 findings that of the 91,248 alcohol-related driving fatalities, 65,309 were committed by whites.
President Bush also took aim at the violence perpetrated by whites in school: "White school children killing other school children must stop. The senseless and barbaric school shootings in Pearl, Miss.; Paducah, Ky.; Jonesboro, Ark.; Edinboro, Pa.; Springfield, Ore.; and Littleton, Colo.; serve as chilling reminders of what happens when there is a failure of leadership in the white family." The president referred to his speech as a wake-up call: "We can't hide behind the stereotypical image of the Black and Hispanic violent criminal anymore. Before there was 'gangsta' rap you had Martin Scorsese, Brian DePalma and Francis Ford Coppola winning award after award and Oscar after Oscar for their films filled with whites committing brutal acts of violence. What type of message does that send if we reward movies that depict such brutality? The Godfather, Casino, Goodfellas, Scarface, Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction. These movies have all contributed to a culture of white violence."
"White politicians don't want to discuss these issues, but somebody has to speak up," President Bush said, as he continued his assault on what he called the "white crime epidemic."
"The average serial killer is usually male, between the ages of 25-35, and he is usually white. The majority of the time, he will kill victims of his own race. The ages of his victims will vary greatly, depending on his particular 'interests.' His intellect ranges from below average to above average. He doesn't usually know his victims or have any particular hatred for them personally (though they might be symbolic to him in some way) most of the time... His victims never did anything to hurt him in any way...they are normally strangers to him. He doesn't come from one social class or another; he can come from skid row or Park Avenue. The typical child abductor-murderer is, likewise, usually a white male. They are single and about 27 years old. They are either unemployed or work in unskilled jobs, live alone or with parents; while their victims are typically 11-year-old white females from middle class neighborhoods [Bush was quoting from the Justice Department's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention report from 1997]."
Bush continued his attack on those he referred to as "social and moral vampires." "Child pornography or kiddie porn is a crime whose perpetrators are overwhelmingly white and whose victims are disproportionately white. This too must stop. Even in our sacred institutions such as our churches, specifically in far too many Roman Catholic churches, our innocent white children are being preyed upon."
"Do you realize that nearly 70 percent of those serving time for violent crimes against children are white," Bush said as he cited the U.S. Department of Justice's 1996 report, What are we doing to ourselves? "Susan Smith, Andrea Yates and Deanna Laney represent a frightening pattern of murder and neglect of white children by white mothers…. And do they take responsibility? No. They either blame it on some phantom black man or say God made them do it."
The president later turned his focus on white youth and drugs, "It's the same story for young adults. Whites are 66 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds and 70 percent of drug users that age. Blacks are 13.5 percent of persons in that age group and only 13 percent of young adult users, while Hispanics are nearly 15 percent of that age group, but yet comprise only 12 percent of drug users 18-25. According to the Justice Department, drug users tend to buy from same-race dealers. So the nearly three-quarters of users who are white, mainly rely on white drug dealers, not the Blacks or Hispanics of accepted imagery. When it comes to drugs like Ecstasy - a hot product in suburban America - the dealers and users have long been known to be mostly white, middle-class males between 14 and 32. American society doesn't want to face the fact that white kids deal and use drugs. They simply can't look in their faces and see that a nice-looking white kid is selling drugs to their kids, because that would mean that their kids could do this too.
"When will it end?" lamented the president
Author's confession:
Dear reader, this article is only an invention. President Bush never delivered a speech such as this. However, the statistics stated in the article are very real and very true.
No leading white politician or religious leader has ever, to my knowledge, come close to expressing the thoughts and views outlined in this composition. If they did, what do you think the response would be? If you don't have an answer it's OK. I realize that it is difficult to come up with an answer to a question that has rarely or never been asked. However, other groups (especially Blacks) have had to deal with similar rhetoric for centuries right here in America and have had to answer the question I just posed to you, time and time again.
Let's think about it, when the tragedy at Columbine occurred there were literally hundreds of news stories asking the question: "Why are our kids becoming so violent." Not why are white kids becoming so violent, but "our" kids. Now let's contrast that with what happens when a black child is killed in a predominantly black community. The headline more often than not has read something like this: "The problem of black-on-black crime" or "Violence amongst black youth." There are two scenarios taking place here: 1. De-emphasizing or minimizing ethnicity. When the crime is perpetrated by white youths color is not the issue; the issue is "our" children and violence. 2. Emphatic emphasizing and alienation when black youth are deemed the culprits. It is no longer "our" kids; it is "black" kids or youth. Can you, will you, see the difference? Our need to examine these inequities is exacerbated by CNN's announcement that they are adding Bill Bennett to their on-air roster. This prolific slap in the face cannot be appeased by Bennett's continued pronouncement, that his words were taken out of context and that he preceded his ominous statement about the abortion of Black babies to lower the crime rate with: "it would be reprehensible." The fact that he went straight for the Black population speaks volumes of his deep-seated prejudices. Why mention Black babies at all? In light of all the statistical evidence presented here, Mr. Bennett's assertion about aborting "every Black baby" would not make a dent in certain crimes. It certainly would not make much of a difference in corporate or white-collar crime, which is still very much white-male dominated and rarely discussed in the on-going dialogue on "crime." Wouldn't the drop in crime be significant if we aborted "white male babies" (if we were to stay with Bill Bennett's rationale for his hypothesis)?
Furthermore, a distinction has to be made between criminal activities and those convicted of a crimes - not everyone who commits a crime is convicted.
I know there are some who may be offended by the assertions that I have made in this piece; this is regrettable and yet I understand. But before you give full sway to your feelings of anger and disgust, answer this: were you this offended when Blacks or Latinos (and other ethnic groups) were being characterized in the same way? Did you challenge the people who made (and those who published) derogatory and inaccurate remarks about other ethnic groups, to tell the whole truth?
It's not easy being made to look like deviants, criminals or malcontents, is it? It is frustrating and dehumanizing when the few are made to represent the many. When the face of evil and all that is thought to be wrong with society bears a resemblance, in ethnicity, to you. This, I understand all too well. If that is how you feel, please remember it; meditate on it. For it is the same feeling that many of your fellow citizens have had to live with on daily basis. In conclusion, let us ponder this: A fictitious speech had to be written to talk about the crimes and indiscretions of white folk; the words and speeches that are used to degrade and debase Black folk is all too real.
Dr. Edward Rhymes is the Director of Race Relations & Advocacy for the YWCA of Greater Pittsburgh. Dr. Rhymes can be reached at erhymes@ywcapgh.org.
Fear breeds ignorance.
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